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The morning after the night before!

posted 16 Nov 2014, 14:03 by Garret Byrne

The morning after the night before ! ! Hanging by a thread and wondering where I left me jacket and how exactly I'll collect the car (where is the car!).

Up early with hungry children and trying to work out how the toaster works again.

No better time then I suppose to return to my previous them of reasons why to do things and a last post on the Social.

This is my take on what I learnt last night after my first Kinvara GAA social ! !

1. Nothing will stop a crowd from Doorus getting to a party (even if they have to lift a car out of the way to get to it).

2. In Kinvara departure times are discretionary, arbitrary things to be used merely as rough guidelines. 6.15pm in N'Ogra became 6.45pm and 6.30pm in Kinvara became 6.50pm. The later it got the worse it got with 2.30am in Kinvara time meaning something closer to 3.30am - sorry Mr Bus Eireann.

3. After said 2.30am "We're leaving right now" actually translates into "Jaysus get to the bar lads - we're nearly outta time".

4. It might be a different location, different night, different crowd but the same question still haunts me this morning as many a morning before - what is it that possesses into the drinking of pints of Guinness, glasses of Wine (both red and white just to be sure I wasn't missing anything), pints of Smithwicks, several Gin and Tonics, a bloody Sambuca of all things and oh yeah - three of those pretty little baby Guinness (because they're only baby Guinness's and they don't give you hangovers according to some genius last night that convinced me it was a really good idea to round off the night with a "small" nightcap......)

5. History was boring when I was 16 and half asleep in the Abbey Vocational school in Donegal town - it hasn't improved much between then and last night despite the best efforts of all involved to make it so. Sorry for not being PC - just an observation!

6. Junior C hurlers take their role as ambassadors of all things "good craic" very seriously indeed. Much credit must go to their manager Tommy Hanlon for instilling a seriously strong work ethic with regard to all things alcoholic and dance related. We now know where all the stamina came from.

7. After 25 minutes of belting out top 10 chart hits and old time classics the band had to revert to the "Siege of Ennis" in order to rouse the dancing queens from their slumber. They were worrying at that point that it was going to be a very long, boring, slow night - they needn't have worried - unplugging the sound system was the only way to douse the flames of rampant river-dancing by 3am.

8. The statement often quoted to me "that several of the Camogie senior squad are half mad" is in fact only half true - they are in fact completely off their rockers and as mad as a bag of frogs - they need serious attention.

9. Dancing is something I need to be protected from. I am not, never will be, never have been and never could be John Travolta despite my utter belief after a few beers that I am in fact better than said John Travolta. At any future events that you see me even tapping my feet or attempting to dance again - shoot me. I cannot bend my left knee as it has swollen to some sort of a melon shape, I wrenched something in me back trying to do what I believed to be the best "moon walk" since Michael Jackson died, my right arm has a grade 2 medial tear of the meniscus in the elbow from air guitaring to ACDC's Thunder and a bruise the shape of Eygpt has appeared on my left quad - I seem to remember young O'Hara or Whelan convincing me of the merits of running headlong into each other - go figure.

10. Like at me wedding there are about 40 of ye that I said I'd get over to chat to later but never did - it wasn't that I forgot - I just got distracted (refer to points 4 and 9 for clarity in this respect.

11. Children don't care that you have had c.4 hours sleep and cannot remember where you put the "Off-button" for the pain in your head. Breakfast must be served promptly at 8am and the fact that they cannot be roused by 8.30am come hell or high or high water during the week for school is completely irrelevant to the need for food this morning.

More toast required - gotta go. Mass is due to start but I'm hoping the congregation are praying for me this morning rather than me having to do my bit for them. Bless me father for I may have sinned but can't remember.

A big thanks to all of those who made the night possible. Trojan work was done by Derek Smith, Garret Byrne, Mick O'Hara, the Camogie gang and a host of others who pulled various strings together to make our symphony work so well. Hope ye all enjoyed it. I know I did and am looking forward to the future of our clubs with loads of optimism and renewed drive.

Cinn Mhara Abu.

By Paddy Barry!